Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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