he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
