Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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