He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
