i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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