OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
only you would photoshop your dick
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
