Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
