between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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