can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
