i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
