Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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