yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
