SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
