dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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