remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
