Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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