I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
