Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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