I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
