He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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