So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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