The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
too bad you live with your parents still
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
