You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
