You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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