i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
