the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Four minutes until I can fart!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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