Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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