The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
