But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
