Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
