Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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