how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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