it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
