"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
