we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
