i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
