i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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