I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
