My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
