This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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