Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
