is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Life is so much better after having sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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