Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
