my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
