I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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