But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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