I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
