Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
