mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
