You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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