Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
