you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
