Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She told me I should be a condom model.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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