Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
