did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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