you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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