2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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