***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
