And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
