yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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