Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
