He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
